One of the toughest times to have conversations is when we are facing our fears and, if we can get to the other side, I’m optimistic that there is much joy waiting for us.
I’m in conversation with Hazbi, a Swiss-Albanian queer artist and curator of festivals. This is a very personal conversation because they are sharing their own journey of becoming non-binary and the important role that conversations have had for them since they were a teenager, not just about sexuality but about identity and belonging, about the queer festivals they organise, the challenge (or gift) of being mildly autistic, and about finding humanity and spiritual connections, …and, it seems, to always be emerging themselves and to be promoting inclusion, diversity and rights for social minorities at the same time as challenging social conventions.
When Hazbi talks about being body positive they talk about creativity with the body, diversity of looks, the spaces that create safety and allow others to immediately open up and talk about very intimate aspects of their sexuality. Being non-binary, they are very flexible in how they dress, they are flamboyant and rich in imagery, and sometimes it has taken them a great deal of courage and strong will to dress how they feel because often people do stare at them, or can be aggressive or violent towards them because they represent difference or because their difference is perceived as dangerous.
They said something very poignant to me about how much self-alienation we put ourselves through in order to be accepted and they describe the morning rush in Zurich of bankers heading to their offices as an example. But also how people can surprise us, like when they told their boss that a professorship at the University of St Gallen wasn’t for them.
You will hear Hazbi dive a little deeper on intimacy…….
What a good conversation feels like; equitable, avoiding power plays
Audiences, people exploring their sexuality
Safety, no judgement, intimacy
What makes talking about sexuality so difficult
Conversations at festivals
Self-expression at festivals, freedom of expression
Breaking social conventions of how they dress, how it happens
Diversity of people at the festivals
Conformity and social conventions (bankers in suits) vs humanity; work with institutions
Setting the tone of conversations, truthful expression, spiritual connections, intimacy
Diagnosis of mild autism and gifted as a child; difficulty reading people’s emotions
Self-expression: courage or deep desire? Giving up their professorship.
Advocating for others — why we do it or not do it
Initial hesitation and fear attending the festivals; what we’re scared of and fascinated with reveals our interest
Overcoming conformity; willingness to accept and embrace diversity; political debates.
Gay marriage; what gives people the power to decide on topics that don’t affect them?
People responding to diversity, novelty or how they look; what makes it a violent or positive reaction? Cooperation vs aggression
1968 protests by women in France, feminism
Identity politics, reaching critical mass of voice for diversity; why institutions are hard to change
Creating festivals and collaborating with others to represent and advocate for diversity; better politics; care to not misrepresent others
Adopting the persona of a flamboyant, stereotypical gay queen when needing to lead a conversation
Being human in our interactions; creating distance from social conventions and roles we’re expected to play, stigmas and judgements; genuine conversations and spiritual connections
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While we’re gifted with speech, conversations, really good conversations don’t happen as much as we’d like. In Better Conversations podcast, my guests and I deepdive into all the corners of what makes a conversation painful and terrible or warming and memorable.
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Business leader, entrepreneur and Executive Coach, Sehaam Cyrene PCC is the Founder of Better Conversations and the creator of a game-changing online course for leaders — Leaders Who Coach™. A regular speaker to digital communities, leaders, board directors, and teams, and producer of BC4Leaders events, she also hosts her own podcast series Better Conversations with Sehaam Cyrene.